I just counted. I have had NINE female family members (hoping I didn’t forget anyone!) who have run cross country for the same coach at O’Neill High School. Honestly, I wanted nothing to do with running. I ran in junior high because I wasn’t very good at volleyball. When I was a freshman, I wanted to play softball. My family had other plans for me. Cross Country or nothing for sports.
 |
| Liz has always been one of my biggest inspirations since I was young. |
That’s when my
cousin, Liz, stepped in. There were only three girls doing cross country and
four made a team. Yep, you guessed it. I obviously was forced to do cross. I
decided it was fine, I really looked up to Liz. She was my favorite cousin and,
after all, she was the one who influenced me to do wrestling in elementary
school. I wasn’t expecting much out of the sport because I had finished, we’ll
say, in the last ten of every junior high race. Additionally, I hadn’t really
committed myself to running during the summer, I was still bitter about not
being about to do softball.
"Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it." -Pre
I started to figure out running by time I got to my junior
year of cross country. I made state and finally was like aw yeah, this sport
isn’t that bad! I was having an A M A Z I N G time with my teammates and
finally the running aspect of the sport was coming together.
Isn’t it funny how I
really never enjoyed the running part of the sport until I got good?
Senior year running was FULL of ups and downs. Not only did
I have the pressure of wanting to get back to state, but, also, I was a senior!
I was worrying about what I was going to do next year and for the rest of my
life! A few area colleges were recruiting me to run, and up to the district
race, I was sure I was going to run college. However, I’m the type of girl who
cracks under pressure. We were at Skyview Lake in Norfolk. I always HATED this
course! In the S I X previous times I had ran this hilly course, I had never
had a good race! Seventh time is the charm, right? Wrong. Within half a mile of
the 4K race, I threw up. Still, to this day, I hate the corner of the park
where the “dinosaur house” is. Of course, this would be the meet that future
potential coaches from Briar Cliff had come to. I still remember being
surrounded by my teammates crying because I felt like the last four years had
been a waste. What happens, the coaches walk up to me. I was so embarrassed
because I was crying over not making it to state! I remember one of the girls
(sorry ladies, don’t remember which one of you!) saying, “they’ll understand,
it shows you love the sport.”
It's so funny how that comes back in life.
While I did qualify for state track for the first time in
the 3200 my senior year, I cracked again. How much can I let competition get to
me? By this time, I had already signed to be a Morningside Mustang. I was
really excited because I knew Coach was at the meet and this was the first time
he and some of my future teammates had the opportunity to see me run. I didn’t
want to disappoint. Looking back, I don’t think it was really him I didn’t want
to disappoint—it was myself. To that point, I had been so nervous, I threw up
during T W O separate races, district cross country and the Norfolk Classic. I
was just hoping I could keep my already empty stomach from throwing up more.
Well surprise, surprise, I let my nerves get to me (at least it wasn’t during
the race!). You know it’s bad when Coach, whom I had only met a few times,
asked me if I was nervous; it was that obvious from the look on my face.
Fast forward to my collegiate career. By now, getting so
nervous and having to throw up before every race was normal. Let me be the
first to say, THAT’S NOT OKAY, I know.
Additionally, I have gone through my share of injuries. Shin
splints have taken a cross country season away from me. I’m going to be honest,
I let injuries control my mentality. I’d look at the times from this year and
compare them to last year, and breakdown. The times weren’t even comparable.
Someone says, “But you were injured..” I don’t let that matter, in fact, that
statement bothered me even more. I am the type of person that thinks I should
always just improve. When I’d finished a race, I’d get upset every time. Even
though I was [usually] improving on the season, I wasn’t improving overall in
my career. That’s the problem with me. I often look so much at the big steps, I
don’t notice the small steps and how they add up.
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." -Martin Luther King Jr.
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/step.html#6mCQ5BqITMMdAz7c.99
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/step.html#6mCQ5BqITMMdAz7c.99
I must apologize to my teammates. I am sorry for getting so
caught up and disappointed in myself that it caused me to take too much time
and dedication away from you.
It is because of this, I have made it my only action to
change.
"The first toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance." -Nathaniel Branden
My Point
I’m obviously not the first to say this, but SPORTS ARE NOT
EVERYTHING. In my life, I have been at fault with the statement many times,
actually, a majority of the time. My parents have never been the ones to say,
“You have to win,” or “You have to be the
best.” They were more the type to say, “Do your
best.” But I’m the type of girl who takes that statement and turns it into,
“Always do the best.” But that’s not
the way it’s supposed to be. Why is it that if I’m not doing my best or the
best A L L the time, I find no worth in why I am doing what I am doing. I know
I’m not the only one who feels this way. But, people have taught me just the
opposite.
 |
| Racing the 800 with Nicole for the first time. |
Nicole S, my freshman year running buddy. I heard about how
Nicole had caught mono one year in college and her body just had never
recovered from it and she wasn’t the same runner. But that doesn’t matter. Yes,
Nicole loves running but she knows it is not everything. I still remember being
disappointed in a race and Nicole saying, “So? It’s just running.” Her
positive, smart remarks have never failed to be straightforward with me: so,
it’s fine. It’s okay to have ups and downs, just keep moving forward. Thanks
Nicole for always pushing me and making see what really is important.
 |
| The Shepherd girls and me. Love Tiff and Tab so much! |
Tab S was the cross country captain my freshman year of
college is one of the most inspirational, caring, and insightful people I have
ever met in my life. She broke her foot doing what she loved, steeple chasing. I
never really realized how tough it could be to come back from such an injury.
Even after I have experienced one myself, I still do not understand how she
did/ does to this day. But the last outdoor meet of the year, it was somewhat
revealed. I was upset because the season did not turn out at all like I had
wanted it to. I went over to a group of my most encouraging friends. I told
them about how all season I hated running. It put me in so much pain and
wondered if it was even worth it anymore. Tab told me some of the most thought
provoking words I have ever heard. “I mean it has happened to all of us, so
often we get caught up in running and the competition side of it, we forget why
we started it in the first place. It’s cause we love to do it. When we forget
that, we lose the enjoyment of it.” Tab, you seriously are so amazing! Thank
you for being my “Mom”
Wow, were Nicole and Tab so right! I may have been forced into running, but over time,
underneath, I loved it. There is nothing better when I am frustrated than to go
on a relaxed (or sometimes really tough) run. While I had let my stress-relief
become the stressor, that time of my life is over. With a good attitude, come
good results. Whether they be on the stop watch or in the form of encouragement,
I’ll take it. I’ve have realized there is more to running than just competition.
It’s about growth.
It’s about enjoyment.
It’s about pushing yourself further and further.
It’s about family.
It’s about helping your team.
It’s about knowing there is a reason you started and have
done it all these years.
Coach has given me two very important pieces of advice this
year and you can’t take it as you want.
You may not be the runner you once were, but you have to
adjust.
You get emotional because you’re passionate.
I am passionate enough about this sport that I have
continued to do it all this time. So what if I didn’t break 5:20 in the 1500
like I wanted to. So what if I haven’t been in the 2:30s for an 800 in over a
year. Times don’t matter. When you’ve done something for this many years, it’s
about spreading your love of it and encouraging others.
One of the most encouraging pro athletes out there for me
has always been Kara Goucher. Check out her post “Letting Go of a Dream” on Run
the Edge. It has got me through a lot and I hope it can be that encouragement
for someone else.
It's time to remember this.
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